Thinking about complex questions is something, thinking in terms of complexity is another thing. I was questioning myself when and if there is a need for addressing complexity to what we call meaning. What is meaning and what does it understand and relate to? I try to find a way I can express meaning into my life but in general as a purpose of existence withing this unlimited universe. Is meaning purpose? And I am not interested in definitions. I can pick up a dictionary and find an answer to this question but that will represent only one opinion addressed by somebody with a complex mind of defining words. But words are just words. In different languages they have no meaning, if we do not understand or know their translation.

What does purpose mean in terms of meaning and what does meaning has to do with purpose. When I think about purpose, the only think it comes into my mind is usability. Think about a cup. Why do we need a cup and what is its usability. I am sure you are rich in ideas and explanation when thinking or just imagining a cup.

Think now about you. I think about me and try to reach the purpose of usability in terms of my existence and I end up getting too confused. Everybody is talking about success and failure, I talk about this things, too. But I conclude by thinking that purpose has nothing to do with success of failure. Purpose is something undefinable or maybe I did not found mine so I can define it.

I am still searching , searching and searching...but no answer.

We never end up asking ourselves this questions so often, are we? We live as if we have to know all the question related to materialism and knowledgeable things but we very seldom ask ourselves what we know about our own purpose. We know who did what, we know what means what, we know when, who, whom, what, whose, how ... but we do not know the basics of meaning, of purpose. Does my life has meaning? Is my life full of purpose? Do I relate my experience to the purpose? Do I connect my actions to the meaning?

And now you will ask ... but why? I ask myself this question. But why? But why do I have to know the meaning? But why is purpose important? I have though no answer. That is what I am searching for. Is purpose meaningful? is meaning having a purpose?

I hope so ...
there is being a wish for all of us, a wish to come true.
there is being a BE for all of us, a BE to live it.
not what you´ve been, not what you will be or what you wish to be but the NOW BE!
if there is something to be grateful for is being grateful for being.
if there is something to be happy for is being happy for just being.
if there is something to feel joy about is feeling joy for being.
if there should be something more grateful than being than let it be.
if there is something to make you feel alive, allow yourself to be whoever you want to be, whatever you dream to be ... just being .... just being does not hurt

What do you know about Romania?

Tineri băcăuani ...

Articol preluat din Desteptarea.ro "Tinerii fug de Bacau" (11/08/2010)

Mintile luminate din liceele bacauane emigreaza spre strainatate

Tot mai multi tineri bacauani aleg calea strainatatii atunci când decid sa-si continue studiile. Ideea de a emigra este vazuta de multi ca o promisiune a realizarii personale. Bani mai multi, salarii mai mari, conditii mai avantajoase, fructificarea studiilor, aprecierea muncii si recunoasterea abilitatilor. Acestea sunt coordonatele care ii determina pe tinerii din Bacau sa considere ca a urma o facultate in afara este reteta garantata pentru succes. Noi va oferim doar câteva exemple.

“Cetatenia româna nu o sa le dea de mâncare copiilor mei”

Bogdana Elena Budianu a terminat profilul uman de Filologie Bilingv Engleza la Colegiul National "Vasile Alecsandri" din Bacau “si ca multi umanisti care au urmat acest gen de profil, am realizat ca orizontul meu nu e foarte deschis aici, in România. Asa ca am aplicat pentru un colegiu din Anglia”, ne-a spus sincer. Si-a dorit un viitor "satisfacator", macar, daca nu stralucit. Cum a ales tocmai Anglia? “A venit la noi in liceu un grup de studenti, care la rândul lor au aplicat in afara tarii, printr-un program numit «Studying Abroad». Promovau studiatul in afara. Ne-au exemplificat avantajele acestui pas. Fiind curioasa de fire, m-am interesat si am cântarit avantajele unei facultati din România cu ale unui colegiu din Anglia. Colegiul englez a inclinat cel mai mult balanta”, continua. A urmat apoi un program educational de consiliere in Bucuresti, la "Shakespeare School", in decembrie, pentru destinatia UK, unde i s-au aratat pasii spre aceasta sansa. Anglia i-a oferit si profilul dorit: acela de Advertising, PR and Media, care ii ofera si posibilitatea de a munci pe timpul studiilor, pentru a câstiga banii necesari sa se intretina in timpul facultatii. “Invatamântul din România da gres prin simplul fapt ca se axeaza pe teorie mai mult decât pe practica si imaginatie. Oare Guvernul României nu s-a gândit niciodata de ce America si Anglia câstiga mai multi studenti români anual decât noi? Un student care termina o facultate in afara poate avea o oarecare experienta in acel domeniu si are o sansa mai mare de a se angaja decât unul care termina o facultate la noi in tara. Aici nu esti angajat decât daca ai experienta? Daca abia ai terminat facultatea, de unde sa ai experienta? Daca investesc in viitor, cum se lauda, care e acela? De somer?”, s-a intrebat retoric Bogdana.

Avantaje financiare

Recunoaste ca nu a fost o mare olimpica, nu a excelat in nimic special care sa-i aduca un venit sigur in viitor, dar acum simte ca va fi o studenta dornica de nou si de munca, singurele ei atuuri fiind sociabilitatea si puterea de convingere. Singurul dezavantaj al acestei oportunitati este taxa anuala, “care, desi este redusa la 3.290 de lire sterline pentru faptul ca ne-am integrat in Uniunea Europeana, tot este foarte mare pentru un român. Dar se pare ca Guvernul Marii Britanii s-a gândit si la aceasta problema si ofera imprumuturi, pe care le poti plati dupa terminarea facultatii, cu o singura conditie – sa ai un salariu de peste 15.000 de lire sterline pe an, din care ti se va lua un procent de 9 la suta”, explica. Conditiile impuse de facultatile la care a aplicat, Middlesex University si University of Northampton era sa promoveze Bacalaureatul cu cel putin nota 8. A urmat apoi si un examen la limba engleza (Cambdrige/ IELTS/ Toefl) care a demonstrat capacitatea ei de a intelege, de a scrie, de a vorbi si a citi in engleza. “Având in vedere ca nu sunt singura care stie despre aceasta sansa sunt convinsa ca si alti tineri vor fugi de România. Daca nu se va face ceva in privinta asta, va avea loc o noua «Retragere Aureliana», aceea a studentilor. Nu voiam sa plec din Bacau, din tara. Sunt mândra de nationalitatea mea, dar cetatenia romana nu o sa le dea de mâncare copiilor mei”, a conchis Bogdana, care din toamna va fi student englez.

Strainatatea a ajutat-o sa se descopere

Buhuseanca Gabriela Târdea - un subiect de roman, o poveste de succes impresionanta. Munca, responsabilitate, competenta, eficienta, modestie. De la un copil care a ratat prima admitere la liceu si babysitter occidental a ajuns rasfatata unor universitati si companii din România, Germania, SUA, Marea Britanie, Finlanda, Danemarca, Slovacia. Ajunsese sa urasca scoala. Treptat, prin clasa a XI-a, s-a apropiat si cu sufletul de profesori. “Din 2001, imediat ce am terminat liceul buhusean, am plecat în Germania, ca Au-Pair (babysitter), si din acea perioada am început sa prind gustul educatiei”, zice. A început sa studieze la o facultate din Germania, dar lipsa banilor a determinat-o sa se întoarca în tara, la Universitatea “Babes-Bolyai”, unde a finalizat cursurile facultatii de Stiinte Economice si Gestiunea Afacerilor. Devine membru al organizatiei internationale studentesti AIESEC, lucreaza la diferite proiecte nationale, este acceptata la doua internship-uri, în Slovacia si Finlanda. În timpul facultatii are, simultan, câte doua, trei joburi, primeste sprijin financiar din Germania si de la parinti. Pleaca în Slovacia într-un internship de management, este promovata de trei ori într-un singur an în companie, sprijina multi români pentru a lucra în aceasta tara, descopera, vorbind în engleza, germana, slovaca, faptul ca are abilitati de comunicare. La Bergische Universität Wuppertal- Germania, Copenhagen Business School - Danemarca, o regasim sustinând un masterat, obtinând noi competente lingvistice. Experientele ocupationale îi certifica grozave competente precum profesor/tutor de limbi straine-freelancer (România si Slovacia), specialist în recrutare la APPEL COUNSELLING s.r.o., Bratislava (Slovacia), Global.me in Jyväskylä Team, Helsinki & Jyväskylä (Finlanda), practica voluntara la Colegiul Tehnic Ion Borcea & Scoala “Mihai Eminescu” Buhusi, are activitati specifice la Global LT, Ltd. Woodslee Drive, Troy, Michigan (USA), Innovation Roundtable in Copenhaga. Cunoaste engleza, germana, daneza, franceza, spaniola, poloneza, slovaca, fiind atestata cu excelent, în cele mai multe dintre ele.

“Dezamagita, am ales strainatatea”

Aceasta performera a fost nevoita, din cauza sistemului românesc de admitere aiurea de tot, sa învete un an la Scoala complementara! “Dezamagita, am ales strainatatea. Noi învatam doar teorie, teorie, iar teorie. La terminarea facultatii din Cluj, am realizat ca pe lânga teorie nu stiu mai nimic. Dar strainatatea nu e paradisul! Oricât de mult se aude ca e bine în strainatate, tot strainatate ramâne, departe de cei dragi, departe de casa, departe de tot. Strainatatea mi-a schimbat viata complet, admit acest lucru pentru ca este adevarat. Am avut parte de experiente de neuitat. Am întâlnit oameni noi, culturi noi, am învatat multe limbi straine, am cunoscut ceva diferit, în special în atitudinea oamenilor. Strainatatea îti ofera o noua perspectiva asupra vietii, experimentezi lucruri si situatii ce nu le vei întâlni niciodata acasa. Sunt experiente minunate, trebuiesc traite, daca ai curajul si initiativa de a face acest pas. Dar consider ca multi români se simt singuri în strainatate. Cu bani în buzunar ori nu, dar singuri... Asa ma simt eu câteodata. Strainatatea nu m-a îmbogatit si nu acesta este scopul meu. Strainatatea însa m-a ajutat sa ma descopar pe mine si acest lucru este mai semnificativ decât orice altceva”, ne-a marturisit.

De ce educatia în strainatate? …”România stie numai de cei care fura, ucid si cersesc”

Raspunde tot Gabriela Târdea. “In strainatate esti ceea ce poti demonstra cu mintea ta ca esti. Nici buzunarul si nici functia mamei sau a lui tata nu te salveaza ori îti da o nota mai mare la scoala. Aici poti reusi chiar si daca nu ai buzunarul plin, si asta este ceea ce face diferenta. Calitativ, consider ca ceea ce înveti aici reusesti sa pui în practica. Educatia în Scandinavia, unde am ales eu sa o continui, este gratuita si asta faciliteaza accesul strainilor aici. Universitatile din strainatate au parteneriate cu firme nationale si internationale care cauta studentii înca de pe bancile facultatilor. Ca student, în Danemarca, nu doar ca ma simt în siguranta prin ceea ce învat, dar ofer în acelasi timp siguranta companiilor cu care colaborez. Ca student, mi se ofera încrederea ca ideile mele sunt valoroase si pot fi puse în aplicare. Exista o competitie foarte mare, dar nu ma simt discriminata cu nimic”. Întoarcerea acasa?... “Inca nu. Când ajungi în strainatate si stai deja câtiva ani buni, ajungi sa te familiarizezi cu un anumit standard de viata care cu timpul devine ceva normal, devine limita de jos pe care nu o poti depasi. Românii care au plecat în stranatate si s-au realizat sunt foarte multi, România însa nu stie de ei. România stie doar de cei care fura, ucid si cersesc. Persoana care termina aici un Masterat, un PhD, si careia i se ofera un loc de munca atractiv, nu se mai întoarce în tara daca sentimentul de siguranta, de stabilitate e primar.” Gabriela Târdea ramâne o persoana simpla, dar care a reusit sa ajunga unde e pentru ca a vrut si a luptat, a muncit enorm de mult pentru toate aceste succese, a facut multe sacrificii si nu a permis statului ori altcuiva sa o opreasca de la obiectivele ei.

Un exemplu de viata

Are aproape 18 ani si tocmai a terminat clasa a XI-a la Colegiul National “Gh. Vranceanu” Bacau. Ambitioasa, perseverenta, muncitoare si plina de viata, Geanina Stingaciu ne ofera un alt exemplu de viata. Un exemplu al unei tinere, care in acest moment are doar un singur vis. Un vis indraznet de altfel, acela de a fi acceptata la o universitate din Statele Unite ale Americii. “De ce America?”, a fost prima intrebare pe care i-am adresat-o. “Pur si simplu imi doresc foarte mult sa studiez intr-o universitate americana, in care pot sa-mi arat adevaratul potential si sa fac ceea ce imi place, sa valorific apoi tot ce am invatat. In Europa voi fi constrânsa de criteriile etnice si de cele financiare”, mi-a raspuns sigura pe ea Geanina. Alege Economia, dar accepta si Dreptul Comercial. “As vrea sa studiez Economia, chiar daca este un domeniu comun, iar daca nu reusesc voi merge pe Drept Comercial. Nu este imposibil sa ajungi acolo, ci doar dificil. Iar eu voi reusi. Am trecut peste toate obstacolele din viata mea si voi trece si peste acesta.” Se lupta intens si invata zilnic, chiar si acum in vacanta, sa obtina bursa SUA, mai ales ca sunt unele univesitati care asigura bani integral pentru studii. “Sunt facultati care dau si 60.000 de dolari, altele asigura doar partial plata cursurilor, dar se gasesc solutii. Acum ma pregatesc de examene, apoi am sa aplic pentru dosar si sper sa reusesc. Eu mereu mi-am ales lucrurile dificile, dar nu mi-a fost greu. Am fost si sunt mereu fata de nota 10 si nu e chiar usor sa tii mereu sus aceasta stacheta”, ne-a mai spus. CV-ul ei este impresionant. A absolvit cursurile gimnaziale cu media 10, sef de promotie, Testarea Nationala “a invins-o” cu 9,83, clasele de liceu le-a terminat numai cu media 10, la profilul matematica-informatica. In toata activitatea ei scolara, din 1999 si pâna acum a obtinut teancuri, teancuri de diplome de merit, premii, premii speciale la diferite concursuri si olimpiade nationale si internationale. A participat si la concursuri europene de matematica aplicata, ani la rând, la concursuri de limbi straine (engleza, germana, franceza, spaniola), a aparut in emisiuni televizate, a fost membru in cenaclul literar “Zbor invers”, are texte publicate si un interviu in revista “Joc secund”, este scenarist de benzi desenate, iar momentan e angrenata in programul european “eTwinning” si in EYP (European Youth Parliament), dar si voluntar in Asociatia “Betania”. E sincera, intreprinzatoare, receptiva, perseverenta, are capacitatea de a lucra in conditii de stres, dorinta de perfectionare si cunoastere continua. E interesata in special de leadership development, drept, activitati economice, politica.

A ales University College London

“Voi incepe intâi prin a prezenta rezultatele mele din timpul liceului, pentru a contura putin motivele pentru care am ales sa plec, desi am avut locul asigurat la facultate si aici, in tara. Am participat la Olimpiada de Limba si Literatura Româna 5 ani consecutiv, iar cele mai importante rezultate le-am obtinut in clasa a XII-a, locul 3 la nationala si tot locul 3, la etapa internationala. De asemena, am participat doi ani la Olimpiada Nationala de Sociologie si am obtinut in ambii ani locul 3. Am luat premiul 2 si la Concursul National de Critica Literara «Mihail Iordache» in clasa a XI-a. Alegerea de a studia in continuare literatura a urmat firesc”, ne-a precizat si Claudia Toia, proaspata absolventa a Colegiului National “Gh.Vranceanu” Bacau. Decizia de a alege o facultate in strainatate a luat-o inca din clasa a XI-a, când a realizat ca la Facultatea de Litere din tara doar ar aprofunda pur si simplu materia din liceu. “Insa eu vreau, desigur, sa evoluez, explica. «Literele» la noi iti cam constrâng orizontul de alegere dupa absolvire, iar a fi profesor in România, mai ales in Bacau, nu ofera satisfactii profesionale si materiale pe masura.” A ales tot Anglia, pentru ca este familiara cu limba si cultura engleza, dar si pentru ca au universitati "world leading". “Informatiile necesare mi le-am procurat singura, apelând la Internet. E cel mai simplu sa intri pe site-ul fiecarei universitati sa afli direct de la sursa ce se cere, decât sa intrebi in stânga si in dreapta. Am fost acceptata la prima mea alegere, «University College London», unde urmeaza sa studiez literatura engleza. Universitatea este una dintre cele mai bune din Marea Britanie, motiv pentru care mi-au cerut sa obtin peste 9.80 la Bac. Am luat 9.93 in final si le-am satisfacut cerinta”, mai spune Claudia Toia. Va fi colega de grupa, in Anglia, cu sefa de promotie de anul acesta din “Vranceanu”, care a aplicat la aceeasi universitate.

Va studia stiinta calculatoarelor

Ioana va pleca tot in Anglia. A absolvit Colegiul National “Ferdinand I” Bacau, iar pe fisa ei matricola sunt numai note de 10. “Am vrut altceva. Am vrut sa ma duc la Politehnica, in Bucuresti, dar m-am saturat de invatamântul din România. E superficial si corupt. Am observat asta cel mai mult la Bac. Am avut colegi care mi-au spus personal ca au gresit la proba de la matematica si care au luat 10. Cu ce pret? 100 de euro pe fiecare proba. M-a dezamagit foarte mult acest lucru. Am prieteni care studiaza in Bucuresti. Mi-au spus si ei ca notele se dau si acolo «pe ochi frumosi», ca sistemul e invechit, ca nu se face deloc practica. Or, in domeniul meu, practica e cea mai importanta”. Din aceste motive Ioana va fi din luna octombrie studenta la Bristol University, unde va studia Computer Science (stiinta calculatoarelor). A decis ca va studia in strainatate inca din clasa a XI-a. Si-ar fi dorit sa studieze in America, “dar e mult prea scump. Am o matusa acolo, care a facut un master si asa am aflat cam cât costa studiile acolo.” Apoi s-a gândit la Franta, dar dupa ce a studiat ofertele colegiilor internationale pe internet a decis: “Anglia e mult mai buna pe informatica.” Tot Ioana precizeaza ca pentru admiterea la o universitate din Marea Britanie e necesar sa formulezi un eseu personal prin care sa convingi ca esti cel mai potrivit pentru respectivul curs, sa ai diploma de Cambrige sau de limba la nivel avansat, sa prezinti o scrisoare de referinta de la un profesor de specialitate si sa ai nota mare la Bac. Peste 9.00. A fost atrasa de tainele informaticii inca din clasa a IX-a, când profesorul ei, descoperindu-i potentialul, a ales-o pe ea sa realizeze un proiect in acest domeniu. “Atunci a fost inceputul. Am facut proiectul, apoi am lucrat la mai multe site-uri, am realizat jocuri pe internet si asa mi-am dat seama ca asta imi place sa fac. Apoi au inceput concursurile de informatica, schimburile de experienta, care m-au ajutat foarte mult”, mai spune Ioana, care de pe acum crede ca nu se va mai intoarce in tara pentru a munci. “Doar daca se mai schimba ceva si daca vor functiona mai multe companii multinationale. Universitatea unde voi studia eu colaboreaza cu multe astfel de companii – Microsoft, Adobe si chiar banci de renume, care recurteaza personal inca din timpul studiilor. Am multi amici care au ales ca sa plece in strainatate. M-am interesat si am aflat ca deja am colegi din Timisoara, Slatina, Galati, Suceava si Constanta. Vor fi niste sacrificii, planuiesc sa-mi iau un job si sper, ca in final, sa ma descurc si sa ma bucur de o experienta bogata. Cât despre reintoarcera in tara, nu ma pot pronunta definitiv. Eforturile pe care le faci sa studiezi in strainatate nu cred ca imi vor fi rasplatite aici printr-un salariu motivant. Recomand tuturor tinerilor... sa plece.”

”Profesorii nu se enerveaza, nu tipa, nu jignesc”

”Am discutat cu elevi si studenti români care studiaza în Marea Britanie, Elvetia, Italia, Germania si Statele Unite. Toti considera învatamântul din aceste tari superior celui din România din urmatoarele motive: numarul de obiecte studiate este mai mic, dar relevant pentru ceea ce vor elevii sa studieze, deoarece implica mai multe optionale decât obiecte din trunchiul comun; programa pentru activitati extrascolare este obligatorie, adica fiecare elev/ student trebuie sa-si aleaga un numar minim de activitati extrascolare, la alegere – de exemplu, în scolile din Anglia (gimnaziu sau colegiu) fiecare elev îsi alege cel putin doua activitati extracurriculare, din orice domeniu care îi place; profesorii sunt foarte rabdatori, fiind dispusi sa explice de mai multe ori ceea ce elevii nu au înteles si nu se enerveaza, nu tipa, nu jignesc; este mai multa disciplina în scoli, mult mai multa strictete si toata lumea respecta regulile, care sunt obiective, normale. În ceea ce priveste continutul, acesta este axat mai mult pe activitati practice si mai putin pe teorie. Volumul informational este mai mic. Se respecta proportia de 2 la 1: daca 10 minute se explica teoretic o notiune, un fenomen etc., 20 de minute se va lucra practic – exercitii, creatii, rezolvari, experimente - cu acea notiune sau acel fenomen. Nimic nu se învata pe de rost. Evaluarea este obiectiva, mai ales cea de la examene, realizata de evaluatori specializati. Profesorii sunt platiti mult mai bine, suficient pentru a fi motivati sa lucreze cu multa raspundere. Motivele sunt mult mai numeroase, dar ma opresc aici”.
prof. Carmen Zaharia, Colegiul ”Ion Borcea” Buhusi

Motivele pentru care parasesc tinerii invatamântul românesc:
- un alt nivel de educatie
- mare interes acordat de catre universitati pentru studenti
- locuri de munca variate si mai bine platite
- posibilitatea de a interactiona cu alti studenti, din alte tari
- cunoasterea altor persoane cu noi mentalitati, conceptii
- posibilitatea de a avansa mai repede in profesia pe care si-o aleg
- motivatie financiara si personala post-universitara

Statistici:

Principalele tari unde tinerii bacauani aleg sa-si continue studiile sunt Marea Britanie, SUA, Danemarca, Finlanda, Germania, Franta si Olanda. Conform unui studiu al companiei europene Integral Programe Educationale, aproximativ 50.000 de studentii români studiaza in prezent in strainatate, ceea ce inseamna un procent de circa 4 la suta din totalul studentilor care invata in România. Daca România respecta conventiile procesului Bologna, in anul 2020 se estimeaza ca numarul tinerilor români care va studia in strainatate va ajunge la 180.000, adica 20 la suta din numarul actual al studentilor din tara noastra. Conform datelor Ministerului Educatiei, in România doar 7.800 de studenti straini vin sa isi continue studiile superioare.

”Destul am fost izolati”

”Eu nu incurajez pe nimeni in nicio directie! Fiecare trebuie sa ia decizia care il aranjeaza cel mai bine. Dar, daca ar trebui sa aleg acum unde sa-mi fac studiile as demara astfel:
- as lua clasamentele oficiale ale universitatilor din Europa (si nu numai) si rezultatele acestora in ultimii 10 ani pentru a vedea ce palmares au;
- m-as uita ce pretentii financiare au si ce burse ofera acestea - cu salariile românesti nu pot fi tinuti in facultate niste copii (ma refer la marea masa; geniile nu rasar dintre potentatii României);
- as studia cu mare atentie conditiile oferite! Cu siguranta, conditiile de studiu, cazare, masa, entertainment difera semnificativ de cele de la noi pentru niste preturi egale;
- aplicatiile on-line reprezinta o mare cucerire a ultimilor ani, sparg toate barierele. Atunci, de ce sa ne mai restrângem aria de actiune la aceasta tara? De ce sa nu profitam? Destul am fost izolati!
- contactul cu alte culturi este f.important in formarea tinerei generatii. Altfel, vom ramâne toata viata produsele unei culturi socotite de unii din Europa "mica";
- as studia sistemele de evaluare! La o mare universitate stii sigur ca notele reprezinta nivelul pe care l-ai dobândit pâna in acel moment! Din cultura altora nu face parte intervenetiile pe lânga profesori … sau cheta studenttilor!
- as studia cu si mai mare atentie ce perspective imi deschide diploma obtinuta si, nu in ultimul rând, cu ce salarii.”

Angela Sterpu - inspector proiecte si programe comunitare la Inspectoratul Scolar Bacau
Roxana Neagu
Ion Fercu

Articol preluat din Desteptarea.ro "Tinerii fug de Bacau" (11/08/2010)

Summer University at Copenhagen Business School


And now it ends :) ... studying at CBS is not only an advantage of sharing and gaining knowledge but building great relationships, meeting diverse students from all around the globe, strengthen your network, learning from some of the best teachers and experience a total new way of learning different from the one I got in my own country. Thanks to our great teacher Paul Eberle, a teacher of ´Investment Analysis´ and ´Managerial Finance´ from Florida Southern College – USA, who honored with his presence at Copenhagen Business School - International Faculty, this summer 2010.

We thank you Prof. Paul Eberle for making this experience worthy, and indeed “The Best Investment Class … in the World!”

Let´s hope for a good exam :)

Challenges (part 2)

I write in my previous article information related to the idea of facing challenges and what do they represent as meaning for our own life. I do not think I have a definition for it or that my answer or idea I wrote about would be the perfect one, but I like to relate each topic to my own life experience and the way I see things. I agree with other people opinions, I believe I am open-minded when it comes to explaining and accepting a certain point of view. What it bothers me most, is the way people relate to each other when it comes to giving an advice. I experience the most outrageous comments that people try to define as their perfect way of seeing things, mostly when they try to misjudge others opinion or make them feel stupid for the way they see things. Most people do not understand that life is being seen differently from everybody´s perspective. If success for me means the way I achieve goals and the level of satisfaction I feel I reach, for others can have a different connotation or it can be defined totally different.

If there is something I so much appreciate to the way, for e.g. Danes lives their life, is the liberty to which they express and relate their imagination, goals and life achievements. The priorities they set and the extent to which they find this life being worthy (this involving the way they feel about their way of deciding, less based on what other think about them).

What makes us sometimes unhappy is the way we think people see us, the way people judge what we are, what we do, what we achieve or not. We make us unhappy only by comparing our life with the ones we perceive as being better that us, having done things in life that are in a better way appreciated than those of ours.

When I achieve a goal, I am happy; but happiness and the feeling of satisfaction remains sometimes only until I may acknowledge other people who have done greater things than me, and so I start being ungrateful, I start complaining and I set higher goals to be achieved, sometimes harder ones. I am not saying that this attitude is always wrong because this can be viewed as a way I motivate myself to achieve more and more. But it is wrong to underestimate myself only by comparing myself with others. I think this is a bad habit that makes me unhappy and depressed (when I am) and I think a lot of other people are in this same situation.

I do am very happy with my achievements! … As far as I am not comparing myself with others, my level of happiness is high. But to what extent do other people influence us in a bad way? My own experience with this feeling of not being worthy comes from the moment when people relate to me, as if they would know better what is good or bad for me. There are so many people, also in my life, people who know how to judge for what I do, for what I am, for what I want to be, for my actions in general … and to resume, for the way I live my life. I mean, I also most of the time, advice others not to let themselves influenced by what other people think, but can we really do this? – Not to worry at all?

I can do this, most of the time, to the extent I can express my feedback in speaking – when I tell loudly what I think about their advices; but it is not the same inside. I still think about it; we in general still think about it, we analyse it; we make judgements about our own decisions and think twice if we are on the correct way in our choice. I mean, it should not matter, but it does. We do not make it loud, but we stress ourselves – and if I should not say this as a generalization, I mean it for myself.

And at the end, why is it so? Why other people are so interested and fascinated making other people´s life difficult? They discuss with such a passion about others, they make it their own issue and they know better how the whole situation can be handled. … They tend to advice you, they criticize you; they make sure you know their own opinion and sometimes, when you allow them, they make sure they are in a position of controlling your final decision.

Why do we tend to spend so much time judging and criticizing others? Why are not we spending the same amount of time improving our own life? Is it because most of those who spend time on criticizing others life have nothing interesting to say about their own? Then why not develop the interest in finding the best that lies in us. In this way we enrich our life and let others enrich their own. This can be viewed as a life lesson, but why is it than so hard to apply this lesson to our own experience?

I think, in my own opinion, we are so stressed out with handling our own life that, it is easier to start handling others, and that is because from this position we do not have the need to ACT? When we make decisions, the way it works, the way we can see results, it is all correlated with the way we act. Acting is not easy and we sometimes are afraid of acting because we are not sure of the way the action will lead us. We may not know in advance if it is a good decision, not until we act and experience it. We can than experience a happy ending or not a happy one at all.

When we decide for others, we make it easier for our own belief system, that the decision is good. And we will think: “As long it is not me who has to handle the situation that comes as a result of action on that decision, it is good”. Experiencing this, we also make assumptions about the results. If we personally have had good results, we estimate others should also have; but if our results were not what we expected, than we tend to advice others not to act in the way we did, without allowing them experience the results.

I experience so many times to be in a group of people which topic of discussion was about other people’s life. Worrying, complaining, and even deciding the way they should have done things, criticizing everything about others lifestyle, way of decision they may have made and I can tell the passion you could see in their eyes when they were talking about, the frustration they lived for the end result of others decisions – a totally theatrical theory which made their day successful somehow, ending the discussion with the feeling of having done something worthy that day, for themselves and maybe for the person she/he was in debate.

I sometimes make the same mistake by mixing my own opinion in others decisions but I am glad when I recognize the moment, and for my good, I try to change it in the other direction where I allow myself to learn maybe something worthy from others experience, make a decision for myself on what was good and not, then decide that it is better accepting people as they are, because they are the person they themselves want to experience to be. We all are what we produce out of us based on our own decision, even when we are being influenced – sometimes.

But, can we stop others make decisions for us? Is this a good or bad thing to do? How can we know this? How can we change the situation if there should be something to be changed? I do not have a correct answer for that but what I most of the time do, is first recognize when somebody is trying to just give bad advices without knowing me; I recognize the way and the reason they may try to influence me and I act by either avoiding them or stopping them in a nice way. Being open and telling them to let me make my own mind about a certain thing is not always understood correctly. People may perceive this act as an attack or just criticism and also, this does not always mean that people will stop talking. It is just a matter of time until they will start again; it only matters the way we learn to handle the situation by making the correct decisions – decisions that are correct for us.

When people starts inundate me with unexpected or undesired opinions, I have learned to avoid any discussion by just ignoring them … sometimes in a nice way. If they do not understand when I tell them something and continuously are trying to force me accepting their opinion, than the only way to make them ´disappear´ or stop is by ignoring them. It may not be always the smart way of deciding, but it is the way I decide for myself as being the better one, which by meaning – is sometimes a good one.

Giving an example: 3 years ago (2007) I decide not to eat meat any more. That by meaning I was becoming a vegetarian. The decision was purely made by me and with a 100% certainty! I just felt I do not want to eat meat any more, that I feel better and healthier in this way; I not only decided but felt it as being the right decision for me. I just do not feel the need or the wish of trying meat. It is unexplainable sometimes, but I was and still am very sure about my decision. Since then, people around me tried and are still trying to convince me that my decision was bad. Most of them developed ways of convincing me to taste meat, tried to “feed” my mind with idea of scientifically proves on how eating meat would make me be normal. I mean, what does being normal mean? There are a lot of scientifically proves that smoking is bad for the body and the mind and though people who smoke try to convince me that being a vegetarian is bad and wrong. Please, I can only laugh about it!!! It is unbelievable how much stress they send me and how unavoidable they sometimes can be. When telling somebody I am vegetarian it is as if the whole conversation should stress this topic and nothing else for the next 30 minutes. Sometimes I feel bad bringing this topic in a conversation, not any more though, only if I have to be in a situation of refusing the meal by explaining my reasons. I mean, it is OK for people asking me about my reasons, wanting them to understand my decision but I do not agree with those who just want to convince me that I am wrong by deciding for a certain way. I am always also curious how other people can succeed in being perseverant in some of their decisions, I also ask them questions if I hear about something not that popular but I do not argue about their decision, I most of the time admire people who stick to their own life by remaining perseverant and focused and I think that it is good supporting them. I am not saying I do not have people around me who do understand my point of view, who do support me and people who do agree with the way I run my life. I was just mentioning those who are continuously worrying about my lack of meat in my body or other kind of worries which in my opinion, should not represent their focus. Poor them! And as this example, many other examples can be explained and discussed the same way.

In this concern I have learned to try to focus most of the time on my own life, on my own decisions; on my own accomplishments and failures and try to learn something good out of them; the rest of the time looking by other´s results, analysing what I want to learn from them, something that may bring satisfaction in my life and something that can be a useful lessons for my future decisions. This is how I believe, I enrich my life.

Be good with yourself! and thanks for reading this article.

Gabriela

CHALLENGE … is our life a continuous challenge? Is my life a challenge?

It is being so long since I have posted something, written by me and about me, on this blog. And for those who like my blog and check from time to time to see what new stuff I have written, about maybe things that happen in my life, I am sorry to have disappointed you with anything new. … But I promise I will try to find time for new sharing.

What meaning have challenges in our life and what should they represent for each other? What would challenges represent for me?

It is one year since I decide to move into a complete new place, new country, new society and culture, the kind of decision that changed my life somehow completely. One year and things looks different right now. I lived new exciting experiences, some of which were sad and heartbroken, others happy and joyful, some accomplishments and failures, feelings of stability but also of insecurity; I have learned new languages, new habits, and new people but not to forget about the old life patterns and style that brought me sometimes to the end of my limits of acceptance and endurance, patterns that I was not yet prepared to change or improve. One year, time that I spend in finding the best ways to go further for achieving my life and professional goals, one year of analyzing my mistakes in order to make sure I take the best decisions and I surely go in the right direction. There were times of self confidence and believe but also times of disbelieve and low self esteem. I sometimes wanted to be alone, other times crowded by people.

Being in a complete new environment means also being surrounded by complete strangers, people that you may not know if you should trust or not, people who ended to misuse my feelings but also lot of those who smoothly touched my heart with joy and compassion. There were times of appreciation and times of regret; times of love and times of hate. But two things which matter most were the feelings of having learned something new about me, of having learned a new lesson that made me who I am today and specially accepting to be a lucky person who had and still has at her side, a partner that knows how to bring the best out of me, a partner who encourages me and supports me in all my decisions. For that, I am most grateful and thankful.

This article is an introduction in a new series of short stories about my life and my experiences. It is mostly about life lessons and challenges. I believe one must experience the most diverse things in life in order to be able to appreciate not only the good out of every experience, but the lessons out of those bad ones.

Yes, there were good times! Yes, there were bad times, too! But all those good and bad experiences are the end result of today. And for what it matters, today I am happy. At the end of each bad or good day I remember myself to appreciate my life, to appreciate what I have and what I am. I smile in front of the mirror and I try to feel the feeling of happiness. I sometimes lie myself but after few seconds smiling in that mirror, I can really feel it, I can really feel the moment of appreciation, the feeling of gratefulness. It may not always be easy, but I also remember myself that in every experience there is a lesson. A lesson that I have to learn a lesson that represents the end result of my being. And so, at the end of each day, I feel more mature, more confident, blessed and definitely stronger.

As I have learned during all this time – we are what we produce out of ourselves; and we should be happy for the best parts of our life experiences – the good parts as well as the bad ones, comparing the example of the need for salt and sugar in our daily meals. We cannot feed ourselves with only sweets as well as our life would be senseless without bad experiences from which we are suppose to learn something good out of them. Our meals taste much better by adding additional ingredients such as salt and pepper. Bad, good, all this combined is going to be reflected into our final product, our cooked meal or our present being.

My message in these shared thoughts is that we have to learn to combine life experiences; to learn how to use the bad experience to our own advantage. To learn what has to be changed. Learn to enjoy all the experiences we may have. This will bring joy and satisfaction to our life. Learn how to enjoy ourselves, with good and bad, with tears and smiles, with new and with old.

I want to tell you about one concrete example, explaining what I mean about challenges.

One year ago I moved to Copenhagen, Denmark. In the hope that everything will be fun and easy, I find out that stepping out of my comfort zone was much harder than I ever wanted to estimate. The first challenge, that of learning Danish language which I thought it should be easy, it ended to be the most difficult one. Deciding to learn Danish language is, first of all, just as deciding to learn two languages in the same time – the written and the spoken one. I struggled a lot at the beginning … maybe also because I was constantly telling myself and others how difficult it is and how impossible it seems to be when I needed to act. It took me a month to start and after starting it took me few weeks to get the basics. I may have had the need for a tutor, a native one, but I stubborn into thinking that I can do it all by myself – as usual. I decided at one point that school would be too slow for me and so I start teaching myself the advanced part of the Danish language, challenging myself each day more and more. H. C. Andersen’s fairytales became my favorite ones and because I found not only the books but also audios, I was listening again and again for many days in a row. In the beginning nothing made sense, I was not able to understand much but I never gave up believing that one day all this will seem very easy … and indeed that day came, though after about two other months. I start to volunteer in centers where Danish was the main communication language, I start discussing with different kind of people on streets and shops, I listen constantly to radio and watched news on TV, I got involved in so many activities as possible in order to improve the language that, at the end of about six months I could handle quite well. I was and still am proud of my successes in this area; the kind of challenge that seems impossible became possible, only that it took some time. The time is not ended and I still have to improve a lot, but I did it. I believe, life teaches us how to face problems and challenges in a kind and easy manner but we seem to struggle believing that, and we sometimes make out of our experience a negative and hard one.

This was and still is, for example, the kind of challenge I had to face when decisions about moving here seemed to be reasonable. (I will talk about other challenges in the next article)

My next article will relate to the following question:

Why do we tend to spend so much time judging and criticizing others? Why are not we spending the same amount of time improving ourselves / our own life? Is it because most of those who spend time on criticizing others life have nothing interesting to say about their own? Then why not develop the interest in finding the best that lies in us. In this way we enrich our life and let others enrich their own. This can be viewed as a life lesson, but why is it than so hard to apply this lesson to our own experiences?

I will relate this question to my own life experience and a new challenge, but in the upcoming article.

If you would like to read about specific kind of examples I have linked in this article, I will appreciate your comment. And so I will introduce your question to my article where I will post a concrete example of the kind of experience you want to read about.

Thank you for reading this article. Enjoy life!

Gabriela